the lie of perfectionism
I saw someone from high school...that still looked just as beautiful as she did almost three decades ago. I know looks are superficial, but I was gutted.
the turning
The day had started rough. There had been words about college application essays, consonant blends(the “r” can be brutal, yes?), morning chores not done, and a bike that had brakes removed and thrown away(that one still does not make sense, but I digress).
Friday reflection
Much can be said about leaning in. The leaning in to see clearer-to see others clearer and to allow ourselves to humbly be seen clearer.
leaning in
There’s nothing like a good before and after; but, for some reason, we rarely talk about all of the unspoken messiness in the middle. It could be because it’s not as glamorous, but the messy middle is where the nitty gritty beauty begins. That’s where I sat with home education this summer, the messy middle, hunting and yearning for beauty.
patience
My teen asked sarcastically if 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 was a four letter word. (I should add it was in response to an economics lesson & we were discussing market crashes.) Without skipping a beat, it rolled off my tongue that 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 was an eight letter word & God is teaching me that it’s needful to count to eight.
𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯, 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘬 & 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭, 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳.
if I ever go down
If I ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ...may I have praise hands in the air, a song beating in my heart, and gratitude leaving my lips. Thankfulness ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ offer. God has given 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆 in my valleys, built 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉 in my storms, 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 in my bow.
reconnect
I can be sort of a planner nerd. I like my days organized with stickers and glitter and pretty pens. It started during a season of my husband working rotating shifts(LEO), myself on weekend night shifts, and a new baby. Coordinating our work hours was a necessity for functioning.
rest
There is work a caterpillar must do to grow; namely, it eats a lot. If at any time the caterpillar has not completed its sole purpose for its adult emergence, the metamorphosis process can still happen, but it requires purposeful work. Once safely cushioned and cocooned, the transformational miracle begins.
restore
I grew up with immense admiration for my great grandmother. Suzie was poised energy, accomplished and adored. When someone commented that they had never seen Suzie cry (even though I had secretly witnessed her shedding tears behind a partially closed door), I mimicked her battle plan as my battle cry. I pushed down hidden fears and tears for three decades.
when love lessons land
We all experience the pulls of craving belonging and purpose. This is about the day I met mine.
the reminder of pearls
𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞. . . I was pretty sure that she had it 𝑎𝑙𝑙 together and had life figured out. I took her 𝑛𝑜𝑡-𝑠𝑜-𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛 advice and slowly started changing the core of who I was to fit ℎ𝑒𝑟 ideals; I thought that’s what good girls do, you know? Our relationship was still fairly new and I watched her closely. She knew how to carry a room with her laughter, had…
retrospection
We came to a pandemic.
As an enneagram six, I pondered all the worst case scenarios and plotted statistics into my autoimmune survival plan. I stocked up, sheltered in, ready for the long haul.
reimagine
By four years old, I knew in my heart that I wanted 3 things: I wanted to be a nurse, a mother, and a wife. I wanted them pretty much in that order-I was four years old, wisdom or experience clearly wasn’t available yet. At nine years old, my babysitter gave me my first journal-just a simple, small, dime store journal that I could hide my hopes and dreams, fears and horrors-safely held under lock and key. As space ran out…
friends that love
It’s been a heavy week. It couldn’t be polished pretty or wrapped in a bow. This week, I needed to kneel.
heated climate observation
Today’s nature walk brought us to watching two bird nests. Wonderment & wide eyes watching, looking & listening for four little birds destined to chirp beauty nestled within twigs of hope. We noted their location & vowed to quietly observe & check on them frequently without scaring mama bird away.
radiant
In our day to day lives, there are moments that are fleeting and there are some moments that, even though seemingly small, make a huge impact. Words are such a thing. They have a weight and depth so deep they can barely be held...and yet they hold us, nurture us, breathe emotion to us.