in my experience, fear will try to drown you
I can’t even begin to tell you how many conversations with my husband have started with the phrase “𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮.”
I’m not talking about sitting in there elaborately fixing hair and make up. I’m talking about just a really quick, just a second, kind of deal. At the time, we had no TV to babysit the children and they really were happily swinging on a swing set (𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 5-13). It felt harmless-big words for this helicopter mama.
𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮.
if I ever go down
If I ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ...may I have praise hands in the air, a song beating in my heart, and gratitude leaving my lips. Thankfulness ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ offer. God has given 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆 in my valleys, built 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉 in my storms, 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 in my bow.
restore
I grew up with immense admiration for my great grandmother. Suzie was poised energy, accomplished and adored. When someone commented that they had never seen Suzie cry (even though I had secretly witnessed her shedding tears behind a partially closed door), I mimicked her battle plan as my battle cry. I pushed down hidden fears and tears for three decades.
when love lessons land
We all experience the pulls of craving belonging and purpose. This is about the day I met mine.
retrospection
We came to a pandemic.
As an enneagram six, I pondered all the worst case scenarios and plotted statistics into my autoimmune survival plan. I stocked up, sheltered in, ready for the long haul.
friends that love
It’s been a heavy week. It couldn’t be polished pretty or wrapped in a bow. This week, I needed to kneel.
in everything, seek Him
Anyone else like to live in the safety zone? You know, those safe and predictable places with guaranteed answers? Yep, that’s me too.
For years, that’s exactly what I did as it seemed…
in my experience, fear will try to drown you
Fear would have loved to drown me that morning and fear would love to grip and drown you at the most tender places of your heart, too.