restore
I grew up with immense admiration for my great grandmother. Suzie was poised energy, accomplished and adored. When someone commented that they had never seen Suzie cry (even though I had secretly witnessed her shedding tears behind a partially closed door), I mimicked her battle plan as my battle cry. I pushed down hidden fears and tears for three decades.
the reminder of pearls
𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞. . . I was pretty sure that she had it 𝑎𝑙𝑙 together and had life figured out. I took her 𝑛𝑜𝑡-𝑠𝑜-𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑛 advice and slowly started changing the core of who I was to fit ℎ𝑒𝑟 ideals; I thought that’s what good girls do, you know? Our relationship was still fairly new and I watched her closely. She knew how to carry a room with her laughter, had…
retrospection
We came to a pandemic.
As an enneagram six, I pondered all the worst case scenarios and plotted statistics into my autoimmune survival plan. I stocked up, sheltered in, ready for the long haul.
in everything, seek Him
Anyone else like to live in the safety zone? You know, those safe and predictable places with guaranteed answers? Yep, that’s me too.
For years, that’s exactly what I did as it seemed…
I ran away…
Iᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴀ Tᴜᴇsᴅᴀʏ ᴀғᴛᴇʀɴᴏᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅɴᴇss ᴡᴀs ʜᴇᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʜɪɢʜ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇ. 𝐒𝐨, 𝐈 𝐫𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲. I’ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴍʙᴀʀʀᴀssᴇᴅ ᴏʀ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇʟʏ ᴀsʜᴀᴍᴇᴅ.
Lɪғᴇ ɪs ᴛᴏᴏ sʜᴏʀᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪғᴇ-ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴇᴀᴄᴇ.