just look up

𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑓𝑡 & 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐷𝑜𝑤𝑛’𝑠 𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐 𝐸𝑅. While walking her & her father back to her room, she paused at the artwork on the wall. The automatic doors 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 & 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂 ғᴇᴡ 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 while we waited as she smiled intently at the art. Without skipping a beat, her father lightheartedly chuckled that ʜᴇ’ᴅ ʟᴇᴀʀɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ʜɪs sᴜʀʀᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢs ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜɪs ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ sᴛᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ & ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴇᴅ ʟɪғᴇ along the way instead of rushing from place to place.

Four days later, my own child would be the one coming into that department, but with a regressive illness. I rushed him down the hall past that same art.

My last day working there a mere five months later, I stopped & stared & prayed by the wall that still held that art. 𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑦 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦.

Seasons crept & left & our little mancub was slowly regaining health. Those seasons had been stressful overwhelming exhausting. .

There was an autumn day during that time that made me think that we should attempt nature walking for fresh air and sunshine. The whole thing was going about as smooth as a rough country road.

I’m not sure why, but I remembered that dad’s words, that 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 and, well, I looked up. ⠀⠀

We were surrounded by leaves of orange and yellow and red enveloped within a soft southern breeze. In the midst of all the chaos, the doctor appointments & therapies, giving away a beautiful career, & blaming myself for landing inside this special needs tornado, I had almost missed an important lesson that I had been taught by a sweet, sun-shining, little girl.

I ʜᴀᴅ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴜʀʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ...ᴡᴇʟʟ, 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 & 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐮𝐩.