1/30/2023
I like color-lots of happy beautiful nature colors that flow like sparkly glitter in the sunlight. I adore autumn leaves and afternoon warm breezes, the kind you can lift your chin, close your eyes, and feel down in your bones warmth. And more than color, I feel music-the kind that skips techno keyboards and offers soul-filled jazz instead. But, then, one day my toddler got a diagnosis and the notes stopped singing. Music hurt his ears, warm water caused him to shiver, blades of grass caused him to stabbing screech. Color faded, the music went silent. So when I looked at self-help books with bright colors? They weren’t going to be able to walk me out of darkness to joy, they didn’t understand the depths of silence here or the piercing volume of my child’s screams. They didn’t have a plan to prevent a child’s elopement into snowy fields or the magnetic draw to a cold water pond down the hill. So, what do you do? How do you bring back color and sunshine, much less sound and warm breezes. You hibernate, you heal so your child can, too.
All the notes wouldn’t sing…that’s what it felt like.
