7/11/2022
𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧,
If I ever get the chance to speak to you face to face, to really have the conversation that keeps my heart pulsing through, make me tell you about the depths of shame I’ve wallered in, just enough that you can see it but not make your eyes bug.
But after I do, don’t let me walk away without telling you how I learned to crawl and claw out of its sticky deathly vice, how to breathe between its thunder, to find peace between riping waves. 𝘽𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙩. The space where you pause and look around helps you see this earth a bit more clear. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗹𝘆, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗹𝗼𝗿𝘆.
Here’s the practical takeaway, the very point I’m working to: 𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗝𝗲𝘀𝘂𝘀-𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦- 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆. Shame builds sticky webs, not connection. The real wins come when you stop the argument and start the connection building conversation. Until it’s safe to everyone to be at the table and speak, you’re still arguing. And arguing has a lot to do with shame. And shame builds suffocating webs.
