Last month’s top nine
These are the things that helped me stay on task last month. While not one of these will solve all the world’s problems, each one played a small part in making life around these busy parts a bit more calm-and that’s welcome always.
I kept following our eight week menu rotation. It isn’t fancy, there aren’t huge bells and whistles involved-it’s pretty predictable and it’s also one less thing to think about. Somehow, years ago, I started using a free pretty printable from Ann Voskamp’s website. I wrote down a two week menu. That steers our grocery shopping and also helps keep our groceries within budget-I just keep printing Mama Ann’s weekly planner when needed. It stays on a clipboard, the notebook paper under it serving as a running grocery list. I have eight different sheets filled out, two weeks of meals on each of them. It isn’t a fancy system. It’s just that it works for us-if it isn’t broken, don’t try to reinvent the wheel- this is the reason for this approach here. Naturally, there are times when holidays or outings might require a tweak here and there, but we keep this fairly consistent.
I mind map our school year out the winter before. Yep, next year is almost mapped out. With kiddos that have special/extra needs, using a boxed curriculum approach just doesn’t work for us and it becomes a cash cow more than usable resource. Lesson planning for me takes time. The years I waited became more stressful than necessary. I use the free Mindly app(Trello is another popular mind mapping app). I make it as detailed as possible-what each kiddo needs the next year (academically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, personally). As I think of things, I keep adding them, add any resources I find that might work for us. I include associated costs with each item. There are years that I’ve made our curriculum, either because the prices were eye popping or because what we needed wasn’t available. Once all resources are gathered, I assign a “term” to them when it seems it makes most sense for the season and our schedule. I only stick twelve weeks in our paper planner at a time and it’s done in pencil. The planner is our reminder of where we are on this journey, not the taskmaster that makes the final decision. Any items needed for art or science get written on a list and purchasing is done at this step. It also allows me to find the supplies and books at best prices. Waiting until right when it’s needed becomes a budget burden and scrambling to source specific items right when they are needed is just added unnecessary stress. On early Sunday mornings before anyone is up, after morning Bible reading, I peek and see if there are any preps that are needed for the next week. If I’ve done my planning well, very little prep will be needed for the next week. It is very rare that the Sunday morning prep takes longer than twenty minutes. Pray over the next week, have the planner ready for Monday morning, and carry on with Sunday knowing the week ahead is more in God’s hands than mine. I’ve done my prep, the week is ready for us to show up well and journey through.
I’ll add that my absolute favorite paper planner is from SchoolNest. Aside from it being pretty, Megan van Sipe absolutely thought through every style of homeschooling and has pages for “all the things”. Also, totally convenient, you can order them through Amazon(non-affiliate link). I took ours to Staples and had them change the flat binding to a spiral binding just as a personal preference. If you decide you want the pages in a different order, this can totally be done between the office store cutting they original binding and spiraling it. The SchoolNest planner is hands down the best homeschool friendly planner I’ve ever used.
While I drool over the pictures on social media with the mamas walking grounded barefoot in the garden with their children, from a practical standpoint it isn’t feasible for our home. My kiddos are wide open from sun up to sundown and I have arthritis. My feet hurt sun up to sundown and the spaces in between. It is much more practical to wear comfy shoes that allow me to keep going with the kiddos. So, comfy shoes…if you need them, even if they aren’t aesthetically pleasing, even if it doesn’t seem ideal, are worth utilizing.
Waking up the same time each day, without exception has shockingly helped in other areas of life. (I should add I’m definitely not a morning person.) I started working night shift while still in college and it came naturally; but in this season of life, getting up by 0500 works. It would not have been doable when the kiddos were younger, getting up multiple times during the night. Getting up early has meant, of course, going to bed earlier. When I was making the shift from getting up at 0700 to 0500, I took it slow. My body needed a slow adjustment, each week getting up fifteen minutes earlier than the week before, going to bed fifteen minutes earlier(this was honestly the hard part for me). I was accustomed to having quiet brain space late into the night. During the shift from night owl to early bird, there were a few weeks of what felt like no down time and it was truly difficult. As an introvert, no quiet downtime to recharge is mentally and physically stressful. This is where number five comes in.
When it felt like I might pull my hair out with this early morning schedule, I started doing Bible reading first. I specifically chose reading in Psalms and Proverbs-I chose these not merely for beauty, but more because I could see I wasn’t the only hot mess stressed person ever, I was human and needed anchoring. And knowing that the day ahead with special/extra needs kiddos has rarely been easy, I needed calm in the storm. And so, for me, even while giving up caffeine, even while not a natural morning person, I started craving this morning anchor that was strengthening, calming, securing. There isn’t a self-help book on the market that is more soothing and caring than the word of God. I can’t recommend scripture reading as a daily practice enough.
While I don’t write on infertility/miscarriage often, years of fertility treatments and chronic stress left my hormones on a constant rollercoaster ride. It’s real and more women endure this quietly than we’d want to admit. Thankfully, I knew to keep doctor shopping until someone was curious enough to help me sort this out. It hasn’t been quick and it’s taken lots of trial and just as much error to get the hormones in balance. One small help has been carrots (of all things)-who knew, right? They aren’t just great for your eyes, raw carrots absorb excess estrogen. They don’t magically correct everything, but they are a small tiny help and have other nutrients that are overall healthy. They are my afternoon snack while prepping dinner. Pairing snacking on them with another activity I was already doing in the kitchen made it a repeatable habit that has been easy to implement. Two full-sized, old school carrots.
In the mornings, right before Bible reading, I fill up two oil diffusers and get them running. I don’t sell essential oils, don’t believe they will cure everything, I’m not brand obsessed. This isn’t about that. I like my house to smell good and there is a mixture that smells like “home” to me. It’s clean, fresh, and it’s our home’s signature scent. Supposedly, this combo will decrease harmful bacteria and viruses, but mostly it smells like home.
I read-a lot. Maybe it’s a homeschool mama habit, or maybe it’s this underlying chronic curiosity I just can’t shake, but my brain gets bored easily, so I keep the habit of filling it until it’s happy. Or maybe it’s the bliss of the smell of vintage books, but it’s a happy dopamine release. I get specific with it, filling the nooks and crannies with the lofty, the joy, the sheer blessing of shared knowledge. Each December, I start stacking my to be read shelf with the wild clusters of gems and jewels of books. I’ll add more through the year, but there’s normally 12-30 books that’ll be stacked in December. It’s a hodgepodge of fiction, nonfiction, biology, general science, poetry, commentary. I used to feel overwhelmed like I wasn’t reading fast enough. It had me reading at surface level and not gleaning enough from the books. I started reading just one chapter a day a few years ago. I was still cranking through books, but I was retaining what I was reading much better. For me, sticking with one chapter a day took the pressure off, helped me read a chapter for depth, and I was honestly reading books with the same speed, but the pressure of a full shelf of books went away. I just changed my perspective on the approach utilized.
This one is deceptively easy, but in reality, it took years for us to get here. This one required me to train my people how to to do this. We have a huge dry erase board that we use for the calendar. It was a diy project that didn’t turn out as fancy as I envisioned, but it’s oh so very practical that we won’t be skipping using it anything soon. When a person uses a product and sees it is running low, part of their responsibility is to write it on the dry erase board grocery list. Because opening the peanut butter jar to find it empty is super not fun. Part of the training for the kiddos was that if they used up something and didn’t write it on the list, I didn’t purchase a replacement, even if I saw it was empty. I’d put it on the grocery list that’s on my menu clipboard, but I intentionally wouldn’t purchase it that week. A week without deodorant or shaving cream isn’t pleasant. It’s memorable though. It was a lesson of natural consequences and it worked. I just kept it straightforward-“If you didn’t communicate it needed replacement, it shouldn’t be expected that mom automatically knows it needs replacing. We all live here and we all need to participate as a team to make this work well.” After a few times of this, we aren’t perfect, but the concept and its importance seems to be understood.
We also rotate who writes the new month on the calendar each month. The handwriting practice on a smooth surface with a dry erase marker versus paper writing with pen/pencil is a fine motor help and requires hand control. (Writing with marker is easier-for fine motor strengthening, easier isn’t better.) It’s calendar skills, handwriting, spelling review in one.
So, these were the habits last month that helped keep us progressing-not to perfection, but a sets of habits that help bring more harmony to our home, more intentional focus for me. It has the side effect of opening more time for creative pursuits for me.
This is important that my children see this. Education is something that never ends. Self-education and ever learning with curiosity should be an integral part of our daily lives, even years past secondary education.
While there isn’t any profound theological basis I’ve found for why I’m so specific with this, keeping my choices intentional does have a personal reason for me. I want the mancubs to see this, to see me as being intentional and specific. They will one day have spouses that will need to be given the respect and space to be the person God created them to be. It will require them to participate in helping around the house, helping with children. It will help them choose a spouse that is intentional in their own lives. While I definitely want to model servant leadership and part of that is the daily maintaining of the home, never do I want them to believe that housework is “woman work” only. Strong women show their children what a strong intentional life looks like. Modeling healthy behavior will have a far deeper impact on your children’s lives than any long lecture-it also offers a deeper positive impact on your own life as well. It’s a win-win indeed.
