You werenโt meant to do motherhood alone
The day I thought a shower + hair wash + shaving all on the same day was a luxury ๐จ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก๐ have been equally eye opening & disappointing. I was a new mother of a colicky babe, the one we prayed for for years. Weโd been offered help here & there, but I never accepted.
Partially because:
he unnervingly screamed for 16 weeks.
I was on a hormonal postpartum rollercoaster .
after years of infertility, surgeries, miscarriages, I burdened myself with the task of doing this motherhood thing right (๐ข๐ญ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ, ๐ ๐พ๐โ๐ ๐ป๐พ ๐๐๐๐พ๐๐, ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ข ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด).
I didnโt want to risk disappointment.
โจ
Either way, ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐จ ๐๐ค๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐ก๐ค๐ฃ๐, ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ฎ ๐๐๐ค๐๐๐. โฃ
๐๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐โ๐๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐๐๐ณ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐ป๐ฐ๐ต ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ? Well, it might be because youโve been disappointed by others.โฃ
โฃIโve seen multiple variations of this floating around the internet & social media waves-there was a time this stung. Whether the people that disappointed me did it intentionally, not intentionally, or because they were honestly doing all they could to care for themselves? Regardless of the reason, each time I chose staunch independence, I added a hidden notch into my self-sufficiency belt & pushed need for others a touch further away. My wall of pride scaffolding higher to avoid the risk of feeling disappointment.
As staunch independence increased, the creep of loneliness shadowed in.โฃ
โฃIt hurts to be hurt. I get it. I promise, I do. Neither of us are immune to that. It hurts even more to realize the sting you feel is one that you built one independent brick at a time.โฃ
โฃ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ ๐๐ผ๐โ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐? ๐๐ฌ๐๐๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐๐ง, ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฃ๐๐ซ๐๐ง ๐ข๐๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐๐๐ง๐ง๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐ก๐ค๐ฃ๐. Once I fully absorbed that truth, it opened my eyes to my self-created cavern, it was easier to wave my hands & ask for help.โฃ
