Go ahead & ask
It’s the questions that propel us forward, not the answers themselves, this purpose-filled space where we shift from one point to another.
When I was in nursing school, we did a required rotation in the operating room. At the time, I was interested in working in this specialty area. Each student is assigned a case to sit in on for observation, but for the student’s sake(and likely the staff as well), the student sits/stands in a corner as to not effect the actual procedure. It’s equal parts fascinating and boring. It was while sitting in a corner during a cardiothoracic surgery, I quickly contemplated the pros and cons of other specialties. After eight plus hours in one corner with no windows or sunshine, zilch change of scenery? It illuminated that the operating room was not going to be a good long term option for me personally.
In the operating room, it isn’t uncommon for a surgeon to have a musical playlist going lightly on boombox speakers. Music has been associated with positive outcomes for patients and helps keep an upbeat positive environment for staff in an otherwise high pressure specialty. At one point, the cardiothoracic surgeon encountered an unexpected extra need this surgery would require. He told the nurse to switch to a different playlist(playlist three to be specific). As cassette tape three was starting, cassette one was placed atop the right side boombox speaker. I noticed a row of cassette tapes lined straight in front of the speakers.
The surgery finally finished what felt like half a day later. I felt relief to be standing in the frigid hallway heaving the lead apron off to hang for the next person. The surgeon walked by, paused and asked if I had any questions. I think he expected something profound, but my burning question? I asked why he wanted the playlist changed. Why switch from one playlist to three? To me, the classical playlist essentially sounded the same.
They weren’t, they were intentional.
He used each playlist as a checklist, an overhead melody. He didn’t need to watch a ticking clock on a wall. The chart nurse was diligently doing that already. He knew that by a certain song, he should be at a certain point in the procedure. If he wasn’t, he was asking why. Why was this bearing heart not in sync with the melody quite yet? It was an extra built in safety check, above and beyond the norm. He knew he was human taking care of another human. He respected his role, took it seriously.
Why switch? And why on earth playlist three? Like, why not two? Was there even a playlist two?four?ten? Were those other lined straight tidy cassettes other playlists? Did they hold the notes for every complication possible? And why had he painstakingly taken the time to create these cassette playlist? (And were any of them peppier than the cassettes we’d listened to for the last eight droning hours?) Each potential complication did have its own playlist, each with its own pacing, its own questions between the notes, safe guards for a heart that begs to beat in rhythm.
He never needed to switch an alternative playlist again. After playlist three completed, they switched back to playlist one-old school cassette tape one retrieved from the right side speaker-and carried on.
In that moment, it clicked. The key was to get back to the original playlist. Take detours if they arise, but keep coming back to the playlist that illuminated the way to completion.
Life rarely goes perfect. Complications will happen. Keeping a healthy pace, pausing when needed? Taking care of those complications as they arise with a healthy approach goes a long way toward getting life back on track.
