thereโs an art of intentional in the slow
๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐โ๐ฌ ๐๐ง ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ-๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐คโ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ ๐กโ๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฆ-๐ ๐ฐ๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฒ-๐ญ๐จ-๐๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ซ๐๐.โฃ
Even in the embracing of palms, thereโs a sacred space for the slow.โฃ
โฃSheโd been ushered into my assignment by lights and sirens, rolled in on a bed on wheels, talks of medications and the rhythm of a failing heart swirled about her space. She was pale, a touch of sallowed blue about her, a look of empty in her eyes. Our work family(wamily we called ourselves) went to work, each member of our team positioned to prepare this woman for the next team in the cath lab...and thatโs when I heard it... ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐ก๐๐ ๐ง๐จ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ. ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐๐ . โฃ
โฃTime seemed to slow as I shrieked โ๐บ๐ป๐ถ๐ท!!!โ It seemed to surprise those around me just as much as it surprised myself. Amidst the swirl of activity, time felt frozen as the cardiologist (EKGs in hand) caught my eye and seemed to understand. This woman likely wouldnโt be seeing the next sunrise and we were her family now. We needed to bring in a cocoon of slowness for her, despite the continuing emergent activity swirling about. โฃ
โฃI went and held her hand and asked if she knew what was happening, explained the cath lab/ the heart attack/ the promise that weโd be her people. She wasnโt shocked, she just held my hand with a bit more purpose. She signed the appropriate consent forms as she told me about her life: her deceased sisters, her life on a farm, her students sheโd taught to add and subtract, a cat she raised when she was a girl, her living breathing God she loved. โฃ
โฃWhen it was time to start rolling the stretcher to the cath lab, her hand continued to hold mine. As the elevator door opened, ๐กโ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, the steady beat of the monitor slowed, the focus of her eyes departed, the intensity of the activity around us increased. I moved my hands to her chest and began compressions, as steady and intentional as a beating heart.
She didnโt see an earthly sunrise that morning.
As I walked out to my car that morning, I stopped to breathe in the warmth of that sunrise remembering her, embracing the gift that woman had given me-that even in the busyness of an emergency, the slow intentional focus on people may be the greatest pause youโll ever do.
